Election day is right around the corner and regardless of who you’re voting for there’s a lot of election anxiety going around. In August, the American Psychological association did a survey and discovered that for 7 out of 10 adults politics is a leading cause of stress. Meaning that no matter who wins this upcoming election a large portion of American adults will be dealing with post-election disappointment.
Whether it’s a competition like an election with a winner and loser, an unexpected change of plans, a natural disaster, and accident, or any unexpected event- things don’t always go the way we want them to. It’s an accepted part of life that we don’t always get what we want, but even as adults it can be hard to navigate our feelings when bad things happen. This can be even harder for young kids who are still learning how to identify and handle their emotions.
Here are some tips for helping your kids deal with the disappointments they may face.
1. Empathize and Validate your Child’s Feelings
Disappointment can come in all shapes and sizes. Regardless of the reason for your child’s disappointment their feelings are valid. Whatever the cause, it’s important that your child feels supported as they work through their disappointment. Listen to their concerns, empathize, and comfort them. Make sure they know that although you can’t “fix” what’s making them upset, you understand and will always be there for them.
2. Set Boundaries While Modeling Healthy Coping Strategies
Disappointing life events can result in emotions like sadness, frustration, and anger. However, as with all negative emotions it’s okay to feel them, but it is not okay to hurt others. Teach children that it is okay to be upset, but they have to stay in control of their actions. Make sure you go over your expectations at a time when they are not upset and then stick to those guidelines while they are upset. Additionally, make sure you model healthy responses to frustration and anger so they can see that everyone has to work to handle big emotions.
3. Communicate with the Adults in Your Child’s Life
Although all feelings and disappointments are valid, some disappointing experiences take longer to recover from. If your child experiences something major that disrupts their routine make sure it is communicated to the adults in their life. Major disappointments can result in trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, mood swings, and behavioral issues which need to be monitored. Apps like Childwatch make it easy for caretakers and guardians to quickly send messages to communicate any major disappointments and disruptions so that everyone can be on the same page.
4. Focus on the Good
Most often disappointing circumstances are also learning experiences. In order to constructively deal with disappointment try to find the silver lining in the situation. Stay optimistic and encourage your child to look for other possibilities and practice gratitude. Shifting the focus to the next opportunity for success can prevent disappointment from taking over. Even if the situation feels impossible, remind your child that disappointment is not permanent and eventually it will pass.
5. Incorporate Calming Exercises
Part of growing up is learning how to handle disappointment and other large feelings. However, if you feel your child is not coping well and/or can’t seem to recover from the little upsets in their life it may be time to consider professional help. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been successful at helping individuals learn to manage their, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Speaking with a professional can provide solutions that may include learning new breathing exercises, coping strategies, and relaxation techniques that can provide healthier responses to disappointment.
It’s never easy to watch our kids battle disappointment. However, these childhood experiences both good and bad help prepare our children for their futures. Remember that kids are often stronger than they seem and can thrive in disappointing circumstances as long as we provide the support they need.